The A-Team (2010) Director: Joe Carnahan

Remake of classic 80s TV programme? Check! Bradley Cooper, Liam Neeson, Jessica Biel and Sharlto Copley? Check! On paper, the A-Team shouldn't fail. On screen, the plan just didn't come together.

This film just made me soooo angry from the offset. IT'S SO DUMB! A few people have tried to make me see that this is the point of the movie, it's a no-brainer, but I'd argue otherwise. Sadly, what we have here is lead characters who don't gel - one actor playing it serious, whilst the others play it for laughs. Liam Neeson as Hannibal is the 'thespian', cigar smoking and breathing heavy dialogue. Bradley Cooper as Face - on the other hand - is playing it cheesy and trying to bring in a Hangover type camaraderie to the movie but failing awfully. I get the point that Face was the charming, witty guy, Hannibal the stalwart professional, etc..., but all the leads here are over-acting and seem to be in different films. And B.A. Oh God, B.A. Quinton 'Rampage' Jackson can't act for toffee. Stick with martial arts or whatever it is you do, dude.

I did not laugh on one occasion at this film. Okay, I lie. I laughed at ONE JOKE. ONE JOKE! This was when Hannibal and Face reminded Murdock (Copley) to catch B.A when he is drugged. It was relatively amusing. But the rest just had me in complete shock horror that a film of this magnitude, on such an esteemed and well-loved show, could be such a turkey.

It has absurd music during the 'serious' action bits. It has action but not enough good action to thrill/for fun. It totally copies off Top Gun with A-Team's rivalry with Black Forest. Throughout the movie, you have no idea what country you are in, or what the plot is about. It is borderline racist. The A-Team signatures are all there - the making things out of scraps, the familiar lines, but everything just seems so ineffective and poorly delivered due to the state of the script. They've churned a pile of toss out for cash and raped our childhood. It is more offensive to your ch'i than The Human Centipede Part 2 or A Serbian Film. IT IS THAT BAD.