Reviews

Review: The Odyssey (2026)

Image credit: Photo by Melinda Sue Gordon/Universal Pic/Melinda Sue Gordon - © Universal Studios. All Rights Reserved.

From a film buff's perspective, Christopher Nolan's The Odyssey is a triumph. A feat of cinema. We're not here to analyse the faithfulness to Homer's text, we'll let the rest of the internet do that, but all we know is we enjoyed every second of it and the 173 minutes running time whipped by for us. We also feel a little seasick.

Hench Matt Damon is a triumph as Odysseus, and the star power of the film busts out from the start. Tom Holland! Robert Pattinson! Anne Hathaway! Travis Scott! Elliot Page! John Leguizamo! Zendaya! Charlize Theron looking amaze on an island! It's a bit choppy following multiple strands of the story at the beginning, but goes hard when Odysseus and his men encounter the Cyclops Polyphemus. His arrival and all that happens in that cave are truly jaw-dropping moments, with horror that is akin to the Pale Man from Pan's Labyrinth. His howling and screams will enter your soul.

And we have many more adventures of Greek island hopping from these (rapidly decreasing) men, as Odysseus tries to get home to his wife Penelope (Hathaway), whose palace is like Casa Amor with unwanted suitors waiting for her to choose who to marry. Main panto villain Antinous (Pattinson) is plotting, and is especially unkind to Odysseus's faithful old dog Argos who is waiting for his master to come back.

Himesh Patel as Odysseus's second in command, Eurylochus, steals the show and Hathaway is also brilliant. A special mention to the beast mode that is Agamemnon (Benny Safdie) as every time that dude is on screen, it's just incredible.

See it on the big screen and take your Kwells.

10 Greek islands out of 10

Platform We Watched It On: In the cinema - Odeon, UK

Highlights: The Cyclops gets hungry

Watch Out For: Agamemnon's metal af helmet

Review: Palm Swings (2017)

Image credit: 2017 Swing Set Productions, LLC

Not to be confused with 2020's Palm Springs (believe me, that is highly possible), this is a simple little film about swinging that goes a whole lotta wrong for our main protagonists, the young married couple Allison (Sugar Lyn Beard) and Jackson (Mark Hughes). Actually, they're both quite bloody annoying; Allison is a bored, stay-at-home photographer who has moved to the neighbourhood for her husband and stumbles across her neighbours having sex and takes photos of then. Voyeur alert! Jackson is a pretentious Philosophy lecturer who has abs and lovely swept back hair.

Not much happens in Palm Swings, but that's not the point. We get loads of hot people, nude, including Jason Lewis who is best known as Smith in Sex and the City. After being tempted into the swinging lifestyle by their neighbours, Allison and Jackson make the rookie error of not setting their ground rules which means Allison falls for Lance (Lewis), also gets chased around by a man dressed as a cat in a spectacular piece of SRP (sexual role play) and Jackson mopes about and then dates one of his students.

However, it's extremely WATCHABLE in a voyeuristic fashion. Which is quite fitting really. The cast do their best and there are some fun, intentionally comedic (and not intentionally) moments.

Should I recommend you watch it? Not really. Should you watch it? If you're feeling a little ooh la la, there are worse things you could do with 95 minutes.

4 keys in the bowl out of 10

Platform We Watched It On: Amazon Prime UK

Highlights: Cat vs mouse

Watch Out For: Tia Carrere pops up and steals the show

Review: Malignant (2021)

Image credit: Warner Bros

We so wanted to like Malignant, having heard great things about it and being impressed by director James Wan's previous work on Saw and Insidious. It starts off with great promise, a lurid setting of scene in the Simion Research Hospital where we encounter something with great power and the ability to make lights flick on and off scarily, but as we move into the storytelling around our protagonist Madison Lake (Annabelle Wallis) and her abusive husband it sadly all starts to fall apart. The problem with Malignant is that it tries too hard to be stylish and the *most epic horror movie ever* but the script and offer is all over the place.

In Gabriel, Wan desperately wants him to be a legendary horror villain and there are certainly some scenes where the character impresses; we're thinking of the jail and police station kills in particular. The twist and reveal is interesting and pretty gross, but it takes a long time getting there. We didn't find it particularly giallo which some reviews have mentioned; sure, we have the knife - again, trying desperately to be *most epic horror movie weapon ever* - but the strange figure of Gabriel is more akin to Ringu or a Japanese horror film. Madison's house is another good entrant though for *most epic horror movie house ever*; that house sits well alongside Hereditary, Amityville Horror, A Nightmare On Elm Street and Halloween.

Wan puts the effort in and it looks great, but it just doesn't have enough of its own original ideas, story or the kudos of actors to make this a truly brilliant horror film.

4 Big Daggery Knives Out Of 10

Platform We Watched It On: Sky Cinema

Highlights: The jail scene

Watch Out For: Headaches

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Review: Stamping Ground (1971)

Image credit: https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0245240/mediaviewer/rm3714913280/?ref_=tt_ov_i

This absorbing documentary about the 1970 Kralingen Music Festival, Rotterdam, really does have the funk, kicking off with Santana and featuring performances by Canned Heat, Jefferson Airplane, The Byrds, Soft Machine, Pink Floyd and many more.

It's completely immersive, with close-ups of the artistes and psychedelic shots, as well as lots of candid festival crowd action. The music does the talking, although there are a couple of memorable interviews - Grace Slick's comments on war ring very true today.

By the end of it, you'll be dancing around your living room or at least tapping your toes along to Jingo by Santana.

8 Grooves Out Of 10

Platform We Watched It On: Netflix

Highlights: Some real far-out dancing

Watch Out For: Naked 70s Zorbing