Centurion (2010) Director: Neil Marshall

Despite a distinct lack of plot and character development, Centurion is actually quite fun - in a bloody, cutting off lots of heads way. Firstly, it looks FANTASTIC - all credit to the wonderful locations in Scotland and Surrey, plus the grainy tones of the shots. It also features a wonderful cast who just about keep the film going; Michael Fassbender is centurion Quintus, our 'hero', who is the only survivor of a Pictish raid and is found by General Titus (Dominic West) and his Ninth Legion. The Ninth Legion are a Roman legion who disappeared whilst in action - no-one quite knows their fate so this film relishes in pitting them against the Picts and the formidable Etain (Olga Kurylenko), a mute woman who is out for revenge against the Romans.

Fassbender and West are good value, with West shining on screen and despatched too soon. The film is brutal from the start, with decapitations and amputations left, right and centre - Centurion isn't for the faint-hearted, it's Band of Brothers on the battlefield. Etain takes four or five hacks to chop off a man's head. That's how it is. That's what happens when you chop off a head.

There's no real plot - just an escape plan for the surviving members of the Ninth Legion whilst Etain and her crew hunt them down like frickin' Predators. It's literally just bloodshed, a bit one dimensional, and we have a wee dram of romance thrown in in the third act to relieve tensions. The ending is also pretty sickly sweet but if you take the film for what it is - absolute carnage - you'll enjoy it. Just don't expect a historically brain-taxing epic or any kind of mentally stimulating action. It's Chopping Mall. And that's it. To be fair, that's sometimes all you want too.
3/5