The Football Factory (2004) Director: Nick Love

I hate football, I really do. It bores me silly. So, I thought I could have problems with The Football Factory - it's not the type of film I'd usually watch.

The two main attractions for me in this movie were the actors Danny Dyer (I'd do anything for the Dyer, I'd even watch him watch paint dry) and the superb Tamer Hassan. I'd heard Daily Mail-esque shock horror reports about the levels of violence in this film but I didn't flinch once, the blood looked a bit amateur-ish tbh and I was more shocked by the levels of brutality for entertainment by My Bloody Valentine, a film I'll review next.

Dyer plays football hooligan Tommy Johnson who gets off on kicking heads in, booze and casual sex. Dyer starts to be plagued by a series of worsening nightmares about his possible demise and a faceless dead boy. Does he question why he does it? Does he heck. The hooliganism here is portrayed as a tribal bonding past-time, an escape, a bit of the old ultra-violence; they live for the punch-up at the weekends and then go back to their day jobs in air conditioning or comfy lives with trophy wives.

I found the movie a bit slow and Dyer's narration quite annoying but it was enjoyable and had some good comedy moments throughout - Dyer and his mate pulling some birds and falling asleep when they get home and Tamer Hassan's youth team exchanges with Frank Harper's Billy Bright. Ultimately though, The Football Factory skips around a tough subject feeling frivilous and Loaded magazine in its quality. It just misses the back of the net.